I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
