yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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