ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
