tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
