Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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