Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
