Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
