yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
