Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am naked and annoyed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
