i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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