Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
