We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
tonight lets celebrate not being married
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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