Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
