i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
