Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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