I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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