He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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