hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
