I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
