Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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