and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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