My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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