i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
