I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
