Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
