remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
