I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
