If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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