hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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