I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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