Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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