I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
