So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
