respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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