I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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