All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
