every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize
