definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
