i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
