Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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