What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
