I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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