Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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