I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
