so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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