we have officially lost it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
