Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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