Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
