just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize