Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
