the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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