Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
