He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
