I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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