This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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