i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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