I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
