I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
