thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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