i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
