Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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