I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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