i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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