your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
