I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
