Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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