Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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