I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
