Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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