Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
thus making me awesome and them whores
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
