but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize