Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
