I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
