Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
