Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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