I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
