anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
