I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize