Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
