help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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